Welcome to the world, Nathan Christopher!

This post is for those who want the whole story. I figure I'll write it while it is fresh on my mind and while Nathan is sleeping between feedings. Not that it is the first question on everyone's mind, but I am feeling wonderful! No insision pain, up and walking around and loving every sigh and coo of motherhood. Couldn't ask for anything more!

So let me start at the begining: the night before the big day. Danny returned home from work at about 10pm. I had just finished the last load of laundry and my last serving of dairy (I am not counting on this lactose tolerance lasting past pregnancy). We finished packing, and Danny did the ritual pedicure (on me, of course). It took some instruction, but he did a wonderful job. I have felt pampered by him this pregnancy. Even though he has not been able to be around much, he has always had energy for a foot rub or back scratch. What an amazing husband I have!

We laid in bed reading and praying in an attempt to calm ourselves for the big day. We finally fell asleep at around 1:30, planning on a good 4 hours of sleep. And sleep we did.

We woke at 5:30 and were out the door at about 7am. Poor Margot did not know what to think of it all!

We went from the waiting room to patient holding in the LDOR. Only I could go back. They scanned to make sure Bun was still breech--sure enough that big noggin was still up by my ribs. Poor stuck baby! So they started an IV (I was so brave--I didn't even faint) and put me on the monitor. I was contracting pretty regularly, and baby sounded great. A great friend of mine offered to come in on her day off to take care of the baby in OR in hopes that I could breastfeed in recovery--a practice that is poopoo-ed at our hospital. She arrived just as Danny was being allowed back to holding. The doctor came in to check on us and then the anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist was an absolute blessing. She explained everything and prayed with us before we went back.

As they rolled me back on the stretcher, it felt like a television show. I do not remember anything that was said to me, I was so overwhelmed. I sat up on the side of the OR table, shaking. My spinal was done so quickly and easily. Before I knew it I was laying flat, my bottom half was all pins and needles and they were putting a catheter in my bladder. I was prepped and draped and they called for Danny. I couldn't believe they had already started. It was very difficult to me to let go, to submit to all that was happening. To loose control of my legs and really my entire well-being--to place the life of my baby and my own in other people's hands--was quite a test. All that I have learned about holding my own plans loosely came in handy as I lay on that table totally vulnerable. And all was well. If ever I felt woozy or sick, the anesthesiologist would quickly give me some ephedrine to bring my pressure back up. I was so comfortable the entire time. With Danny at my side, they dropped the drape for the big delivery. They pushed and pulled and laid on my ribs. They wiggled his toosh from side to side, trying to dislodge his legs. They repositioned and wrestled to get our sweet baby out. They all tried to be light-hearted, but I knew it was not supposed to take so long. The doctor joked that he shouldn't have tried to keep the incision small. I just lay there in peace, knowing it would be alright. Had I been my own patient, I would have been freaking out.

Finally, at 10:31 on August 11th, a big butt, followed by legs and a head were pulled out. There he was! There HE was! It was a boy. And all I could think was, "That just came out of me!?" They took him over to the warmer to get him dried and breathing. He did not cry at first, but I just lay there calm, knowing it was going to be alright. They brought him over to me and all I wanted to do was touch his face. I kissed his vernixy head all over, still unable to believe that he came from me...that he was mine! After a little more touching and kissing, they took him to the nursery for a quick checkup.

I was repaired and cleaned off and wheeled into PACU. I felt overwelmed by all that had just happened. My recovery nurse couldn't get a temperature on me, so she bundled me in warm blankets, turned on the heat lamp and stuck and heat pump under my sheets. I didn't realize how cold I was...all I could think of was that sweet baby.

A few minutes later, Danny and the lactation consultant wheeled the baby in the little recovery room. My nurse was so accomodating and kind. The lactation consultant held the baby up to me and he immediately latched on. I am so glad he knew what he was doing because I certainly had no clue! He nursed for about 20 minutes off and on. I am so grateful for that experience. The chance to see him again and for us to examine one another--it was priceless. It made the "sacrifice " of a c-section more of a means to this indescribible end (well...beginning).

Soon after, I was brought to my post-partum room where I napped and relaxed until baby was ready. The rest has been a fog. A wonderful fog. Nathan Christopher sleeps well for a few hours, wakes up to feed and then stays social for about an hour. He is an amazing eater, though he is only receiving colostrum for now. He feeds for at least 30 minutes each every 3-4 hours, but he wished he could feed for 3-4 hours every 30 minutes. And the plumbing is most certainly fully functional. I have not yet had to change a diaper. My amazing husband has displayed expertise and artistry in that department so I will enjoy it while I can.

Up until yesterday at 10:31am, I was afraid motherhood would be a very difficult adjustment. I know my impatience, selfishness and rigidity and I know babies do not tolerate that well. But somewhere between the spinal and that sweet baby being delivered into my arms something changed. It wasn't so much of an adjustment as a new state of being. All I think about is that little guy. I don't even realize I am hungry or having bladder spasms when he is laying in my arms. I don't care how long it takes to get him to latch on or stop crying but only that he gets there. My day revolves around him for now. Someday that will have to change, I'm sure. But for now I can just spend all my time smelling him, rubbing my face against his, kissing every part of his round little head, exploring every bit of his arms and feet and toes and wondering how I found such favor in the Lord's eyes that I could experience this kind of love, and somehow realize that this is only a taste of how He loves me.